7 foolproof ways to show your need for personal space

AS COUNTLESS INTERNET MEMES AND CULTURAL JOKES STATE, FINNS LOVE PERSONAL SPACE TO A COMICAL DEGREE.

In fact, when the World Health Organisation advised keeping one metre of distance from others to decrease the risk of contracting COVID-19 in 2020, many Finns worried about a new world of cramped conditions and forced socialising.

That's not to say Finns aren't friendly. Spend an evening ripping on Sweden in the company of a Finn with a belly full of beer, and you'll make a friend for life. Finns don't demand personal space because they are aloof or shy; they're simply comfortable with space because their native land is full of it. Finland ranks third in Europe when it comes to population sparsity, and the nation is decorated with a whopping 22 billion trees – that's 4,500 trees for every one person.

Here, it's easy to slip away from the crowd for a peaceful woodland ramble. It's an excellent place for a solitary swim too, as Finland has 188,000 lakes, which are often surrounded by one of the nation's 475,000 relaxing summer cottages.

EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT FINNISH

But Finns aren't the only people who love their alone time. Here at Very Finnish Problems, we've found that Finland's love of personal space is resonating with people all over the globe, who are quick to snap up our products praising personal space and Finnish culture. Today, the popularity of the Very Finnish Problems brand, which reaches an average of 10 million-plus people around the world on social media every month, has made Finland's space famous.

We also deliver to a global audience so that the world can wear their fondness for Finland on their sleeve. Here are a few of the world’s favourite Finnish fabrics.

1. SILENCE BEATS BULLSHIT

There's no such thing as an awkward silence in Finland. Here, silence is seen as an expression of respect. Finns often spend the conversation listening to the person talking, and only open their mouths when they have something interesting to say. In Finland, silence really is valued more than bullshit. In these times of internet arguments and divided political views, the world can benefit by adopting this simple yet effective motto.

2. SMALL TALK MAKES ME WANT TO DIE

Small talk: it's boring, tedious and super awkward. It's so pointless too. Things like the weather don't need to be discussed or debated. Neither do current events or the quality of any given city's public transport system. Thankfully, Finns understand this and make life a lot more interesting by keeping their insights on climate and culture to themselves. And because Finns don't sweat the small stuff, they are more likely to engage in deep, interesting conversations when they finally begin to talk. This is great news for introverts, as small talk really does zap their energy.

3. I LIKE SPACE: OUTER AND PERSONAL

It's true, Finns love outer space as much as they love personal space. This year, NASA asked the Finnish technology company, Nokia - the inventors of the indestructible Nokia 3310, which is the only thing that will outlive the Rolling Stones - to put a 4G network on the moon! Finns have a lot of experience in bringing excellent coverage to remote areas, as mobile phone coverage in Finland is at 100%. So you can lie under the stars in the splendour of nature while texting your friends.

4. IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU'RE TOO CLOSE

It's no surprise that this cool T-shirt became a bestseller in 2020, a time when demanding personal space is finally accepted by society. Like a nation of introverted hipsters, Finns did personal space long before it was cool. But they're more than happy to share their lifestyle with a broader, more mainstream audience. Everyone's invited to the personal space party!

5. YOU'VE READ THE T-SHIRT: THAT'S ENOUGH SOCIAL INTERACTION FOR TODAY

Nothing ruins an excellent social gathering like pointless small talk with strangers and annoying questions like "What do you do?" and "How do you know the party host?" So many wasted nights! But thanks to this very Finnish T-shirt, you'll never have to be attacked by tedium again. Less small talk at parties means more time to focus on the important stuff like drinking your body weight in beer, and dancing like nobody's watching.

6. INTROVERTS UNITE

Many introverts say they find it hard to make friends because they can't stand small talk. Here at Very Finnish Problems, we couldn't agree more and know that much like the Finnish people, introverts are a lot of fun once you get to know them. So for all those introverts on the lookout for like-minded friends, we’ve designed this T-shirt to enable two introverted strangers to slip into a long, deep conversation and become fast, awesome friends.

7. I'M NOT ANTISOCIAL. I'M PRO SOLITUDE

There's a reason why Finland has managed to give the world beautiful designs and lots of cool technology. The creative mind needs personal space to be brilliant, which is why creative people like to be alone. If you're pro solitude, you're in good company, and share a similar outlook to that of famous scientists like Nikola Tesla, who once quipped, "Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born." So celebrate your pro solitude tendencies with pride while looking great with this popular T-shirt.

Anyone who loves their personal space knows how happy a few hours of alone time can make them. The solitude loving Finns have known this for centuries, and are now considered the happiest people on earth. Now, we can all follow the Finns and start embracing space and smiles.